Jonas' not so SIMple Addiction
by Maz Kazama
Summary: Teal'c's missed the bus! Sam's wet herself? And death's ringing the doorbell. Jonas' new addiction is causing a lot of problems for the SGC...


**AN: OK, this is a cringeworthy fic I wrote a few years back where Jonas faces an addiction a lot of PC users have faced at one time or another. It's pretty old so my writing is a lot less polished but I hope it's readable.  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
Warnings: Erm, a bit of mild swearing, vague reference to narcotics.  
Enjoy! **

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Jack, Sam and Teal'c watched nervously as Jonas sat hunched over his computer which was the only source of light in the room. Coming from the computer was a series of sounds that could have resembled words but they weren't in a language Jack, Teal'c or Sam could understand or recognise. O'Neil looked over at Sam and Teal'c before taking a small step forward, his arm outstretched towards the unaware Kelownan. As he opened his mouth to speak a shout of "EA Games!" burst out of the speakers, taking him by surprise and causing him to flinch slightly. Sam looked at the Colonel and then back to Jonas before taking a step forward until she was level with her commanding officer.

"Carter." O'Neil whispered into the Major's ear. "You take the left." He ordered and Carter nodded, moving silently into position. The colonel then turned to Teal'c and signalled for him to take the right. Together, the three advanced silently in Jonas' office until they were positioned directly behind the distracted alien. Without warning, Jack pounced on the kelownan's back, dragging him off his new 'swivelly chair' as he taken to calling it until the two landed in a heap on the floor, Jonas' arms pinned behind his back.

"NO!" Jonas thrashed in the Colonel's grasp. "Let me go! They'll die if I'm not there! They'll die!" Teal'c quickly took aim with his staff weapon at the screen in case whatever it was that seemed to have brainwashed Jonas tried to advance on any member of his team. Sam turned to face Jonas, kneeling down so she was nearer his level.

"Who will die Jonas?" She spoke calmly in an attempt to soothe the worried kelownan.

"You!" Jonas exclaimed with a sob, "General Hammond, Siler, Dr. Fraiser…everyone!" Jack and Teal'c exchanged panicked glances at Jonas' outburst.

"Why Jonas? Why will we die? What's on the computer that will make us die?" Sam asked nervously as the Kelownan tried to wrench himself free of Jack's clutches.

"LET ME GO!" He screamed, "They're dying, they're dying! Please, they're going to die!" Jack kept his grip firm however as Sam turned to look at the screen, trying to block Jonas' cries "Let go of me!" Jonas screamed again, "Please, it's been two hours already! Teal'c will be late for work!"

All three remaining members of SG-1 turned to look at Jonas at this cry but Jonas seemed unaware of their curious gazes as he continued to protest about his capture.

As the colonel and Teal'c peered curiously at the Kelownan, Sam turned to look back at the flashing computer screen, frowning at what she saw. Various animated figures were walking about a virtual house, interacting with each other and the environment around them.

"_Some kind of cultural simulation perhaps…"_ Teal'c pondered as he too turned his attention to the computer screen.

Jonas took advantage of the momentary distraction, wrenching free of Jack's grip and turning to face the PC once again.

"Oh no!" The Kelownan's cry was one of pure anguish as he clicked rapidly with the mouse and tapped furiously at the keyboard, "Jack's missed the bus and Sam's wet herself!"

Jack felt his jaw drop as he picked himself up off the floor and stared at Jonas in disbelief. What _had_that kid been smoking? He could see Teal'c frowning at Sam who glanced briefly down at herself before turning on Jonas, her gentle demeanour quickly turning to irritation.

"Jonas, just what the _hell_are you talking about?!" The Colonel spoke up before Sam had the chance to come out with something much worse.

"It doesn't matter…"

Jonas' demeanour had completely changed now as he hunched over the desk, staring blankly at the screen, his hands unmoving. "General Hammond will never get to be Captain Hero now." He sighed. "I might as well make us all go swimming and then delete the ladder."

"Ooooookaaaaay Jonas…" Colonel O'Neill had come to the conclusion that Jonas had completely lost his marbles and decided to approach the Kelownan as unthreateningly as possible. "Why don't we take you to see Doctor Frasier?" He suggested gently, plastering a placating smile on his face.

"What's the point? She'll never cook a good enough meal to impress the Headmaster now. You've**ruined **Cassandra's education!" Jonas' tone was bitter but his body language was still dejected, Jack doubted that the Kelownan would have the energy to be angry – the stack of empty coffee mugs suggested that Quinn hadn't slept for a while.

"Of course I have…" Jack muttered as he lead the Kelownan towards the door. "Err…a little help here?" The Colonel asked irrititatedly as he realised Sam and Teal'c were still hunched over Jonas' PC.

"Just a minute" Sam said dismissively, not taking her eyes off the screen, except to glance briefly at Teal'c as she mused "I wouldn't have put the sofa there….we should rotate it a bit."

Jack looked around Jonas' office for the sofa Sam and Teal'c seemed to be discussing but came up blank. He was getting sick of being the only one not knowing what was going on. He was the second in command of the base fer cryin' out loud! No one was going to be rotating an imaginary sofa without his say-so.

"Look, I don't know what this_thing _is that's got you all hooked but I'm pulling the-" Jack trailed off as he took in the screen, "Wow, that sofa **does**look wrong."

"Placed in such a proximity to the fireplace it is a fire-hazard" Teal'c added solemnly.

"Shouldn't we do something about…" Jack trailed off once again, turning to point at Jonas who was huddled in the corner muttering about demotions and the grim reaper.

"Yeah yeah." Sam nodded before echoing words that sounded vaguely familiar to the Colonel; "I'm gonna save and turn it off. Just…one more minute can't hurt...right?"

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**AN: OK, I hope most of you guessed, Jonas was addicted to The Sims :D. Night's Darkness persuaded me to post this so you can blame her (jk - I love you really!) and I'll pop it on my website some time this week (can be found in my profile). **


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